Another Long Day

Today has been a very long day. It wasn't to bad for a Monday though. I have had far worse. I was pretty productive this weekend, so it eased some stuff off of me. It has been a really warm and pretty day. It gave me an itch to sit outside this evening. I am ready for all things spring, I think. I am just having a hard time cause every time I think about something like spring or summer ya know fun things I just remember that dark cloud that hangs over my head. I feel guilty for having fun or for at least wanting to. It has been a tough couple of days for my Mom. she needs to go to a hospital bed because she cant lay flat down any longer. She says its because she broke her rib coughing and when the rib heels she will be able to lay down again, but she was having problems laying flat down before that happened. Its the breathing that makes it hard that and the fact that she strangles when she lies down. I just cant imagine her really leaving us. I am very tired of watching her suffer so much though. I just want her back normal again. This seems so unfair to me. Anyway back to the hospital bed , she doesn't want one she thinks it would just be lying down and giving up. So we priced one of those normal Queen sized beds that go up and down and man o man are they high. You could buy a small car for that price. I know I need to keep the faith she is trying to. I mean God is more than able to heel her and can.