Angry

I hate being so angry all the time. I get to this point were it's so bad that it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I am not sure what to do with it. I want to tell the person who is making me so mad off. I know that would make me feel better, for a while. It would also hurt him so bad , and I can't stand to be the cause of someone elses pain. even though someone hurts me I am so not the person to be all " an eye for an eye." I was raised better than that. I have to find away to move past this. I guess I am just venting here to keep from freaking out. I need to realize that I am 31 yrs old and my life is what it is, it's mine! I need to know that I can't change their behavior even by saying something. I know that this person should be in a place that they should know better all by them selves. I know that he knows he's hurting us, but he is pretending to not know that. He is very selfish at the moment. I also need to realize that this maybe the "new"him. He may NEVER change back to the person who I loved so much. How does one deal with losing both parents who they were very close to. You see I lost both my parents one by grave and the other by his mental state! I need to breath...... maybe I should just tell him off. Maybe I should just let him live his life his way even if it is publicly embarrassing me & ruining his life. I mean he does have that whole" pastor of a church thing going on!" Maybe I'll just walk away!!! I miss my Mom and my life before losing her. Growing up SUCKS!!!