Still Pressing On

I don't really want this to be a depressing blog. I want it to just be about my life with my kids and husband. It's just that this junk just poor's out of me. I have always been a pretty upbeat easy going person but now this dark cloud just sits above me. I do have good days. I really do, but when they are bad, they are BAD. I had to go to the grocery store last night to get some things, my eight year old son wanted to go. I usually would not want to go to the store with an 8 year old boy, but everyone else in the house had something to do so....I said yes. So I am getting stuff we need when out of the blue he says Mom let's go get the Turkey. Well we don't need a Turkey , we are going to my grandmothers house across the street for T.G. Something I did as a little girl, but not something my kids have ever done. So I tell him we don't need one and he asks if we can at least go look at them. Why not, so we head over to check them out , and he just starts crying. I'm like what's the matter baby, and he replies this is the kinda turkey Nannie (my mom) said to buy. I am like OMG. I had forgot my Mom took him with her last year to pick it out. This broke my heart I could barely hold back my tears. He has really been ok through out this death thing but I guess the Holidays are going to be tuff. My Mom basically took care of the Holidays for us, she made them perfect. I am at a loss at how to make it through this. Life is so unfair she should have been here to have even seen her great grandbabies be born. Life SUCKS!